Looking Through Fresh Eyes

WebAdmin • July 10, 2012
Eye Examination Machine — Portsmouth, NH — Lager Susan R

My husband Thom, and I had a great time yesterday “dubbing around” our house and land, fixing things, spiffing things up, and creating more order and beauty. It was very satisfying to get so many little projects completed! We then had such a feeling of accomplishment, that the next day we rewarded ourselves by boating on our favorite lake all day – just doing nothing.


The thing that sparked the frenzy of activity the first day was the act of looking through fresh eyes at our surroundings. I’ll often get great ideas watching HGTV, seeing all the different ways people arrange their homes and yards, especially as they proceed with remodeling or moving. The last few shows made me aware of the beauty and simplicity of hardwood floors, and how we’ve hidden ours with area rugs. So, looking through fresh eyes, I could see more open, spacious rooms without the carpets. Out went the carpets, and (excuse the pun), but we’re both floored by the difference! Sometimes things get stale and we don’t even notice it.


Why am I talking about carpets and floors? Because if you do the same thing with all your key relationships, and look at them through fresh eyes, you’re likely to see some things differently. You may notice how much reciprocity there really is; how much, and in what ways affection and respect are manifested. With a spouse, take a new look at how much intimacy you’re really creating, or how old, worn out agreements may still be operating. With parents, notice how the boundaries are honored. Think of this as a kind of refreshing of these connections. Ask yourself what a reasonable outsider might see, where there’s room for change, and how you too, looking through fresh eyes, might be able to reshape your relationships.


Cheers,

Susan Lager


P.S. For articles filled with insights about how to transform your relationships, go to the “Products” page of this website.

By WebAdmin February 6, 2026
Greetings Reader, Do you remember one of those days when everything that could go wrong, did?  It happens to the best of us, and when it unfolds it feels like a sick dominoes game. My husband had one today, and couldn’t stop talking about all the gory details. Then when he was done, he seemed […] The post Marriage and Bad Hair Days appeared first on Susan Lager.
Couple holding hands, standing in a park, smiling. Man in denim shirt, woman in white top, soft sunlight.
By Cheryl Conklin February 3, 2026
"Cheryl Conklin is a writer, tutor, and lifelong adventurer dedicated to promoting wellness and personal growth. As the founder of Wellness Central , she shares insights, resources, and experiences drawn from her journeys and passion for balanced living, helping others pursue health, happiness, and fulfillment."
By Cheryl Conklin January 16, 2026
"Cheryl Conklin is a writer, tutor, and lifelong adventurer dedicated to promoting wellness and personal growth. As the founder of Wellness Central , she shares insights, resources, and experiences drawn from her journeys and passion for balanced living helping others pursue health, happiness, and fulfillment"
Couple embraces at the beach, heads touching. Ocean in background, overcast sky.
November 19, 2025
The early days of marriage feel like a mixture of comfort, discovery, tiny surprises, and the occasional “Wait, you do it like that?” moment. Building a shared life is not about creating a perfect routine. It is about shaping a partnership where both people feel supported, understood, and genuinely excited for what comes next. The Nitty Gritty Create shared habits, stay curious about each other, talk about money openly, combine dreams with practical planning, and keep joy in the mix. This is your roadmap to a solid relationship.  FAQ
October 24, 2025
Anxiety attacks rarely ask permission. They sneak in when the calendar is packed, when your phone won’t stop buzzing, or when even the people you love most can’t seem to help you calm down. If you're in a relationship, anxiety can feel doubly complicated — you’re managing your own emotional regulation while trying not to transfer that stress onto your partner. It’s a tightrope walk. The good news? You can build a daily structure that lowers your baseline anxiety and prevents full-blown panic from creeping in. Below are grounded, real-world techniques that help intercept anxiety before it spirals.
Bride and groom embrace outdoors, smiling. She wears a white lace dress; he wears a black suit.
October 1, 2025
Planning a wedding is a full-time job. So is buying a home. Now imagine doing both at once — while also preparing to move, host family, and not lose your relationship in the process. For many couples, these life events collide within the same six to nine months, each demanding time, money, and emotional bandwidth. But chaos doesn’t have to be the default. With a bit of pre-alignment and some sharp trade-off thinking, you can move through all three transitions without burning out or breaking the bank.
Man and woman high-fiving, in a brightly lit living room.
September 16, 2025
You want to feel better together, not just “less stressed” in parallel. Aim for small, shared practices that nudge your bodies toward calm and your bond toward steadier connection. Treat each experiment as playful, not perfect, so you’ll both return to it next week. Keep the stakes low, the sessions short, and the feedback kind. Write down what helped and what didn’t so future you can copy the wins without overthinking. The point isn’t to become experts; it’s to build a few rituals that make hard weeks gentler and good weeks richer.
September 2, 2025
If you’re a college student with ADHD, you should feel proud of your accomplishments. However, if you have ADHD, meeting your academic goals can be challenging. Managing your ADHD and achieving academic success is a result of persistence and hard work. Thankfully, there are many tools and strategies to ensure a successful college experience. Everything from time management and memory improvement to mindset changes and accessibility aids on campus can boost your study skills and help you meet your goals.