Life in Coronaland

Susan Lager • April 5, 2020

Most everyone in the world, for some time now, has been experiencing the anxiety, losses, uncertainty, and constraints of social distancing related to Coronavirus. We know we’re living in an apocalyptic scenario, we hear all the gory details on the news and from each other every day. The people who seem to be surviving best in this new “normal” are the hard-core introverts, and even they are weirded out. I am not a cryer, but have done my share in the last few weeks, so I get the trauma in all this.

However, there are also some pretty bizarre and funny things going on which I think it would be therapeutic to notice and share. We’ve gotta find some humor amidst this crisis, so I will be doing my part here to spread the word about what’s laughable and inspiring in our current reality.

First installment:

“Big Night Out – Suicidal Grocery Shopping at BJ’s”

After a few weeks of this self quarantining my husband and I noticed a serious lack of freezer paper, cheese and Half and Half. We could deal with staying at home 24/7, being online 24/7 for all work and social contacts, the losses, the ongoing experience of Russian Roulette about who would die next, but no freezer paper? No cheese? No Half and Half for the gallons of coffee we’ve been drinking? No way!                 Besides, it was Friday night, and time to go out!


I’d heard from a few clients who are high up on the medical chain that yes, we should be wearing face masks to protect each other, but my idea to strap a huge towel around my head wasn’t so great – too much possible absorption of respiratory droplets for me while being socially altruistic. They both were adamant that glass or plastic face shields are what docs use in certain surgeries and risky situations. And yes, a motorcycle helmet would be fine. So, here I am above, following medical wisdom, preparing for our Friday night foray to get “desperately needed” supplies at BJ’s Wholesale Club.

Imagine Darth Vader walking around in front of you in a store. It was the perfect setup for social distancing! People around me probably thought I was either a psycho or someone about to rob the place, so nobody came near, even the customer service people who ordinarily assist when you’re useless at the Self Check Out line, as I generally am. It didn’t help that I was also wearing a giant scarf to seal the bottom opening of the helmet, so my hair was plastered down with sweat and the plastic shield was all fogged up from the heat condensation. Then at BJ’s you have to look for half boxes to pack your groceries in – uh oh, cardboard! More Coronavirus droplets about to pounce! My solution was to get this Big Night Out over and done with at top speed so my immune- compromised husband who was waiting in the car, wouldn’t worry that I’d succumbed to evil Covid-19. Of course it was pouring outside, and he’d parked right in front of the store, way too close to other people who were loading up their cars. He was less than 6 feet away from them, ready to help me! Of course I starting shrieking warnings at him from inside my Darth Vader getup, now soaked from the rain as well, so those people also backed off. (Handy)……….

I think the “insanity posture” may be very effective for our Covid-19 existence. It certainly worked when I lived in Manhattan, would be coming home from work on the deserted subway late at night, and approached by some menacing creep. I’ve never carried any weapon except the ability to appear totally crazy, loudly shouting out psychotic rants, which I’d witnessed at Bronx State Hospital where I’d worked on the ward with folks who were in a different state of reality. Nobody wants to screw with an insane person, so in my later middle-of-the-night homeward bound subway rides I never got mugged or attacked. Shady characters would always back off. It was my perfect New York defense. If you’re not too self conscious I’d highly recommend it when clueless people get within 6 feet of you nowadays, especially the friendly ones.

The good news is that we had our Big Night Out and now have lots of freezer paper, cheese and Half and Half. Hallelujah!

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Surprises

By Susan Lager • March 31, 2024
This past month has been a whirlwind of initially trauma, then a series of sweet surprises and blessings. Following a serious car accident I've watched my body heal in unimaginable ways, consistent with the assurances of my doctors and nurses. I've learned about resilience, my own, but also other peoples'. My single sister came up to Maine to provide "nursemaid" services for two weeks, and graciously attended to me day and night. Her patience, diligence and compassion even surprised herself. My husband, who is limited physically, has done the same, also hauling my wheelchair in and out of the car, patiently fetching tons of thing I can't reach, and even walking Luca, our naughty dog, in the local park. This is all after "remodeling" our downstairs floor to be wheelchair-friendly, with all the supplies I need accessible - no easy feat! Our son and daughter-in-law have provided fabulous meals, visits, help with buying a new car, and new phones and watches so we can be more accessible. Our two granddaughters have visited and been loving, tender and attentive, surprisingly, at ages three and six! My other sister has provided funding for unlimited takeout meals, as her physical limitations prevent a late Winter visit up to Maine. Friends have provided dog walking, solicitous calls, and car trips to doctors while I'm unable to drive, with a broken right leg. Neighbors have provided the biggest surprises of all: multiple dog walks, pots of soup, ongoing offers of help, and continued concern about my status. I've been blown away by the compassion and generosity around me! These are people I would not previously have defined as "friends", but they sure will be, moving forward! Clients who previously insisted on live sessions, have been flexible and gracious in doing telehealth instead. One couple I've worked with for awhile sent me the largest, most beautiful bouquet of flowers I've ever seen in my life. I've also surprised myself with my resilience, mostly good cheer, adherence to the "Rules of Slow," and allowing others to help me, even asking for help when they can't read my mind. This has been virgin territory for me. So what's the lesson (besides trying to avoid avoidable car accidents)?: - Try not to shortchange either yourself or others with low expectations - see the possibilities. See the good in people. - Cultivate yourself as a Surpriser to others, particularly when they need it. Nurture community. Avoid self absorption. - Learn from adversity and grow. - Don't watch too much news, especially the traumatic stuff! It can distort your experience of life.... - Embrace the surprises that come your way, and let yourself feel deserving.